- jackmeatFebruary 7, 2025My quick rating - 4.0/10. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Napoleon Dynamite tried to remake Blade with a budget that couldn’t cover a decent pizza party, then congratulations, your oddly specific dream exists and it’s called Hawk And Rev: Vampire Slayers. Philip "HAWK" Hawkins (Ryan Barton-Grimley) is a man on a mission, fueled by sheer paranoia and a headband that looks like it survived the '80s and lost the will to live. After getting kicked out of the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a two-by-four (because subtlety is for cowards), Hawk ends up as a night security guard in a warehouse so deserted it makes the office in Severance look overpopulated. Just when he’s about to die of boredom, surprise—vampires! Because why not? Nobody believes Hawk, which is understandable because he has the energy of a conspiracy theorist who thinks pigeons are government drones. So, he teams up with Rev (Ari Schneider), a vegan-pacifist groundskeeper whose main skill is existing in a perpetual state of confusion. Together, they form the kind of dynamic duo that makes you question how humanity has survived this long. The humor is... well, it exists. Some jokes land like a well-timed punchline, others hit the ground with all the grace of a walrus on roller skates. The “movie lines” bit feels like that one friend who doesn’t know when to let a joke die peacefully. The film clearly takes inspiration from the South Park goths vs. vampires episode, except with less budget and somehow less dignity. Visually, it’s a blood-splattered mess—literally. There’s fun to be had with the practical effects, even if the digital blood looks like it was added in Microsoft Paint. The budget constraints are as obvious as Hawk’s desperate need for a hobby, but there’s a certain charm in its schlocky, DIY vibe. Having recently been entertained by Ryan Barton-Grimley’s Listen Carefully, I decided to revisit this 2020 creation. It’s got the same slightly entertaining, “I can’t believe I’m still watching this” energy. Is it good? No. Is it bad? Yes. Did I laugh anyway? Unfortunately, yes. Perfect for when you want to question your life choices and laugh while doing it.
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Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers was released on October 31, 2020.
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers was directed by Ryan Barton-Grimley.
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers has a runtime of 85m.
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers was produced by Ryan Barton-Grimley, A.J. Gordon, Ari Schneider.
Hawk doesn't just dream about killing vampires… He eats, sleeps and breaths it! One night, they appear at his work and of course no one believes him, except his friend Rev a dimwitted vegan-pacifist. Together they join forces to save their hometown!
The key characters in Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers are Philip Hawk Hawkins (Ryan Barton-Grimley), Revson McCabe / Forneus (Ari Schneider), Theo (Jana Savage).
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers is rated Not Rated.
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers is a Comedy, Horror film.
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers has an audience rating of 7.1 out of 10.